7 Ways To Transform Your Leadership From External To Internal
When you’re in a leadership role, you either lead from an external (status-based) to internal (leadership-based).
For a while, I was leading from an external view of leadership until I changed to an internal view.
Here’s what happened…
My company consolidated three lines of business, including the strategic marketing groups and tracking local ranking movement of all three. I was stripped of my team, which became the team of the new strategic marketing director.
And to add salt to the wound, I was put on that team. Imagine going from being the leader of a team to essentially becoming part of what used to be your team.
I remember feeling completely demoralized. Worthless. I will admit, that I am not proud of my behavior at this point in my life. I spent way too much time complaining about my situation to my new peers, who used to be my team. And I drummed up sidebar and hallway conversations dissing my new boss. I even considered leaving the company because really – how dare they? And even worse, my job level went down with this change.
From a leader with a team reporting to the general manager, to an individual contributor with no team. I was not in a good spot on the org chart and I wore that pain on my sleeve.
This Changed Turned Out To Be For The Better
After the seething waned, I started thinking about how I ought to handle the situation. I developed an inside voice that said “Drop the gossip, be grateful, be humble, learn.” I realized for whatever reason, I was being given a break.
After 14 years of busting my butt, enduring long hours, longer commutes, not seeing my kids for 12-hour stints every day, and endless travel putting a strain on my marriage, I started seeing the bright side.
With an individual contributor role, I had less stress. By not being on the leadership team, there was less drama and administrative requirements (no performance reviews or personnel issues), and more time for family with reduced travel and a more reasonable workload.
When I Discovered The Difference Between Internal Leadership and External Leadership
This came at a time in my life when I badly needed it. I had a toddler and two teenagers, i.e. felt like three toddlers and a husband who needed a fully functioning partner at home.
From a professional standpoint, I took the time to learn new skills like how the marketing technology stack is put together, how a customer relationship database works, and how to drive leads through it.
A part of me, that prideful part, was tempted to leave the company for a bigger position, to “show them,” but I realized that leaving my position at that time was likely not the best thing for me or my family even though it would feel so good just to walk out in a huff.
I learned a very different type of leadership during this time. I transformed my thinking from an external view of leadership to an internal view. What does this mean? An external view is how you believe others perceive your leadership status. It’s your title, which meetings the boss picks you to attend, and your performance award. It’s where you appear on an organization chart or how many people report to you. And it’s essentially your status as perceived by others. But we too easily fall into the trap of confusing status with leadership.
It was painful but I learned to lead myself from the inside out and really isn’t that where it all starts? I learned to lay low, stay quiet, and follow. So I focused on the work and the results. And I accepted the different workload, got home in time to spend evenings with the family and every day started telling myself it was a blessing (whether I believed it or not).
Here’s how to transform your leadership from external to internal
When leadership comes from within and not from something external, like an organization chart; things change. You can focus on your personal accountability (something I call the say/do ratio) instead of how pretty your PowerPoint is or how much you talk in a meeting. You can redirect your energy from posturing to really thinking about your impact. It allows you to take a step back and have some perspective. You feel more comfortable in your own skin and make better choices.
The lessons I learned in my down year were not in the career development or leadership textbooks. I share them here with the intent of providing you with a practical approach to getting on the path for yourself.
Be Humble
Careers are not linear. This is not something you learn in college. If you are met with a setback, resist the temptation to walk off in a huff.
Cool off and take stock even if it feels like things just aren’t fair. I’m not suggesting you devalue yourself or apologize; in fact just the opposite. Hold yourself high even if you feel like a fraud or failure. Be humble, which simply means avoiding excess pride. Look for leadership in others and take the opportunity to follow.
Where You Sit In An Organization Chart
Don’t get distracted with where you sit in the organization chart. If you’ve been in any organization for long enough you know these things can change overnight and someone who used to be “important” might suddenly lose their status on paper.
Personal Accountability
You know when you encounter somebody who makes promises and doesn’t deliver; it doesn’t feel very good. You start doubting that this person can be relied on and you lose trust. On the flip side if you have strong personal accountability or a high “say do ratio” meaning you do what you say you will do, you build trust with others which is like making deposits in the bank account; it accumulates interest.
How many people report to you: As organizations become flatter and more agile, your direct scope of people becomes less meaningful. No matter how many people you have reporting to you, you will still need to lead by influence. More on that later.
Non-reactivity
As you build your internal leadership muscle you will naturally become less reactive because you can always rely on your internal source of power in your leadership. And this is a muscle that needs to be exercised as it takes resistance. When you feel the urge to react instead ask a question, be curious, and objective, and grow your sense of context and this will help you make better decisions.
Replace Posturing With Positioning
Posturing implies that you are aiming for status by impressing others. Positioning is where you declare and demonstrate your value.
Transform Your Leadership By Resisting Gossip
This is a tough one. And I will admit I am far from perfect but wherever you can keep yourself in check do so. You will thank yourself later. Just think to yourself if what you are saying (or are about to say) were posted on social media or shared with your whole team via email, would that make you uncomfortable? If someone is engaging in gossip with you, do your best to stay neutral, and definitely don’t start it. The more difficult thing is to be transparent with the person that you are struggling with. This demonstrates true leadership and in my experience is a big time saver.
The Importance Of Self-Care
Building your inner leadership doesn’t work without self-care. It’s critical that you get enough sleep if nothing else. The mind and body are truly altered in a sleep-deprived state.
Wrapping It Up
Sometimes it takes a shock to move you from leading from without to leading from within but it doesn’t have to. Start with awareness, then develop your own observations. What feels authentic? What feels forced? Then start on your journey.
When leadership comes from the inside, you are more grounded, calm, and sure of yourself. You have total control of your own leadership versus someone else dictating it for you. And you will be focusing your energy in ways that move you forward and build resistance to any potential setback because careers are not linear.
Consider the transformation of your leadership from internal to external as a true journey. Don’t judge or second-guess yourself. If you fall back into old bad habits, don’t give up.
